Goodbye
by Victoria Alatamir Wan
Summary: A Germany/Russia songfic to "The Call", by Regina Spektor. Please read and review! Rated for angst.


**The Call  
**

Disclaimer: If I owned Hetalia, it would be really sad and everything. ^.^ And I'm not talented enough to own this song. I still love it though~

A/N: Okay, I'm sorry about not updating "Sacrifice" in forever, but I have stupid writer's block. Not fun. Anyway, I hope this isn't too fail...

Pairing: Russia/Germany one-sided

Summary: Songfic to "The Call" by Regina Spektor

Italics are song lyrics, regular is Russia's thoughts.

~*~*~*~

_It started out as a feeling__  
__Which then grew into a hope_  
_Which then turned into a quiet thought_  
_Which then turned into a quiet word_

Even now, every time I see you, I smile, no matter what you're doing. Planning something reckless, hanging out with Prussia and your friends, practicing violin, doing math, whatever.

I never realized I loved you until we were separated for so long. At least we can still see each other now. That's more than I can say for some nations I know.

I hoped you loved me, but I was never brave enough to tell you. I just waited, hoping beyond hope that you would take the first step and say that you loved me.

Late at night, when everyone else was already asleep, I would whisper to myself, "I love you, Germany."

_And then that word grew louder and louder__  
__'Til it was a battle cry_

Whenever I went off to fight, I would look west, and think of you, before throwing myself whole-heartedly into the fight. I promised myself I would always return to you, no matter what.

_I'll come back__  
__When you call me_  
_No need to say goodbye_

Don't worry, Germany, I would say quietly, so no one would hear me. I'll be fine. I will never leave you.

_Just because everything's changing__  
__Doesn't mean it's never_  
_Been this way before_

I was shocked when you backed Austria in the Great War. My tsar had sent troops to defend Serbia, thinking we would only have Austria to contend with. I never expected that you would jump to defend your German brother so quickly.

And now, trouble is stirring again in Europe. Stalin tells me how you've taken over Austria, Czechoslovakia, Poland, and so many other countries. He thinks you will take over me too.

I disagreed with him. After all, didn't we sign that Non-Aggression Pact?

_All you can do __  
__Is try to know who your friends are_  
_As you head off to the war_

Please be safe, Germany, I plead silently. Don't try to attack the wrong people. I don't want you to get hurt.

_Pick a star on the dark horizon__  
__And follow the light_

Just head east and you'll find me. I'd welcome you with open arms, give you a break from all the stresses of nationhood. You can confide in me, Germany. What's wrong? I'd ask.

_You'll come back__  
__When it's over_  
_No need to say goodbye_

The last time I saw you, before all this started, I told you to be safe. I wanted to tell you, right then and there, that I loved you, but I couldn't.

_You'll come back__  
__When it's over_  
_No need to say goodbye_

I tried to justify my actions. I told myself, over and over, Germany will be fine. I can tell him after all this is over.

The pessimist in the back of my mind asked, What if Germany dies? What will you do then?

Shut up, I growled. I was so stubborn and naïve back then.

_Now we're back to the beginning__  
__It's just a feeling and no one knows yet_

I never even told my closest confidants about my true feelings for you. As far as they were concerned, I did what I had to, nothing more, and without the faintest glimmer of regret for any of it.

I think you suspected, though. I was always trying to show that I loved you, without actually telling you. I interpreted every little thing you did for me as a sign that you might possibly love me, as more than a friend.

_But just because they can't feel it too__  
__Doesn't mean that you have to forget_

You still declared war on me, but I thought it was only because your Fuhrer told you to.

When I met you on the battlefield, I was surprised at the open hostility in your beautiful blue eyes. "Germany?" I ventured, unable to keep the hurt tone out of my voice. "I thought we were friends..."

I thought I saw you hesitate for a split second, a shadow of regret crossing your face, but then your expression turned cold again.

"We used to be friends, Russia. Not anymore," you reminded me, your tone stern and patronizing. "Alliances change, leaders change, nations change. If a country tries to stay the same even though everything around them is changing, the country will die. You know that as well as any of us, if not better."

_Let your memories grow stronger and stronger__  
__'Til they're before your eyes_

Despite everything that we had gone through together, I felt the anger surging up in me. How dare you just dismiss our friendship like that? It's like you've forgotten everything.

Remember those times when we were so close, everyone joked that we were brothers?

Remember that one time we got in trouble, and didn't care because it was both of us?

Remember the first time we actually met? I had known you before, but never really got so close.

Remember that one time I was angry with you before? I wouldn't talk to you for a long while. But we eventually got back together, didn't we?

Don't ever forget what once was.

_You'll come back__  
__When they call you_  
_No need to say goodbye_

Even now, so many years later, it hurts to see you joking around with Prussia and Italy, walking right by me like I don't exist.

If it's better for you, I'll go on with my life, pretend there was never anything between us. But that doesn't change the fact that it once was.

_You'll come back__  
__When they call you_  
_No need to say goodbye_

_~*~*~*~_

A/N: Eh...I think the chronological order is distorted. Oh well.

If you go and read the first chapter of my story "Broken", this might make more sense.

Reviews make my day~

V.


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